So today I wore my standard tank top [with a light jacket] and short-shorts.

Randomly during the middle of the play, Alex asks someone “Is there a particular reason Liza dressed like a skank today?”

Which, wouldn’t bother me much if it was someone else. But can I tell you that I’ve worn this outfit several other times and it has never been a “skank outfit” until today. And more than that, last summer, the summer before that, AND the summer before that tank tops/shorts have been my trademark. During all those summers, I was DATING you.

and ~all of a sudden~ it’s a fucking skank outfit.

Not to mention, Mrs. Mock somehow decided to tell me, after seeing me 18xxxxx times, that I was doing fine work backstage, but I needed to dress according to dress code the next time. Okay, that’s only two people so far.

Recently I’ve been feeling… able to talk to people in my theatre class, which I consider an accomplishment. For the most part, I’ve thought them very… gossipy and rather obnoxious, but I felt closer to them for the first time ever. So after Mrs. Mock told me that I wasn’t dressing according to the dress code, I was talking to Sadie about how I was rather annoyed about it, [because as far as I was concerned, it had never been “skank” until now] as I changed from short-shorts to slightly less short-shorts. After I changed, I realized that it had been getting hot backstage, and so I decided to remove my jacket and just be in my tank top.

After I do so, I notice Sadie talking to Michael. And she is talking about me. I heard her telling him how, after Mrs. Mock told me I was dressed skankily, I changed my shorts, but then took off my jacket and still looked just as skanky.

And then afterwards I flipped my shit, because I started feeling fucking close and okay with people, just to have them tell me that I’m still a bad person.

This has been a journal entry.